Gratitude Saved My Life

I've spent most of my teenage and young adult life in perpetual misery. Only seeing what I had lost and what others had that I didn't. I blamed anyone and everyone I could for my life. I didn't see opportunities, just struggles or ways of survival. My relationships with my family, soon to be in laws, my most precious people were something of a thorn on my side. I complained a lot and only saw the negative. My mind became accustomed to it. Before I knew it, I had dug myself an enormous pit of self-pity, with anger and resentment as my companions, and I had no way of getting out. My friends that were still brave enough to love me, would constantly remind me to give myself grace and to be gentle with myself. But all I could see was stagnation and lack. It wasn't until I started a spontaneous gratitude journal, of course, I didn't realise that that was what it was at the time, that I started to truly see the light. I realised that everything that was being preached and the testimonies that were being shared were also possible for me. My hope was renewed. But my journey was only beginning. 

It all began when I was sitting at home one day with my sons, when a package was delivered and I received a pink notebook with a pretty glittery pen, my favourite. It came with a fictional book that I read as quickly as I had received it.  On that fateful day, I sat down and planned how I was going to use this beautiful gift that I had received as I didn't want to let it go to waste, like many of my other notebooks. I was a new mom, making her way through Covid by homeschooling her older son, on maternity leave for my newborn son, while my husband was at work as an essential worker. I was overwhelmed, going through the motions of emotional peaks and dips. Barely hanging on to my sanity. I was really struggling with figuring out this next phase of my life. I opened the notebook and thought about writing my goals and dreams or drawing up an escape plan that would do just enough to distract me from what was really going on. As I stared at the blank pages, a thought came into my mind, "Write down what you're grateful for" and I thought, "Okay." Once I started, it was hard to stop. I began writing in that journal daily and added scriptures, prayer requests and any revelations that the Lord gave me.

I will be honest; my attitude didn't change much but I was slowly coming back to life. I still saw the challenges but before I complained, I made sure to write down what I knew God had done for me. I preferred to start in the morning, that way the mood for my day was set. I persevered and I started seeing God directing my life. He moved me from where I was working and thrust me into a new environment and I swam. My mother passed away and He carried me. Then, the ultimate surprise was the pregnancy of little princess. I took all of these within my stride, trying, as often as I could, to be grateful for every win. It could be as small as existing today to as significant as the safe birth of my child. 

Gratitude took me from wanting to drive my car into a wall to waking up each day intentionally looking for the good in that day. The years that followed challenged and moulded me and my character to the point where I asked God what's next in 2023. And in one afternoon, He gave me 30 scriptures to compile into a journal that could help others who are facing difficult situations and don't know how they will make it through. Being grateful to God caused me to trust Him more and with each victory, my trust in Him grew stronger. I now strive to live with peace in my heart, knowing that whatever comes next, He's in charge and in control. 

Try it for yourself, incorporate gratitude in your daily life for 30 days and see how He has been faithful all this time.

Be grateful!