Epiphanies Of Life

Recently, I was reminded of the movie, “Eat, Pray, Love” and one of the main things that stand out for me in that movie is the Italian phrase “Dolce far niente”, meaning the sweetness of doing nothing . It may have different meanings to each person but to me it reminds me of when I was in tertiary. I would take one weekend in the month and dedicate it to self-care. That would be a time when I had no to do list or school work to finish. A time when I would do whatever I wanted. On the Saturday, I would spring clean my room, clear out my cupboard, change my bedding and then take a long hot bath. I would also treat myself to a home cooked meal, read a book or just write in my diary. Sundays were for binge watching movies or tv shows and eating all day. This was my way of being kind to myself after working hard the rest of the month. It was my way of calming down and releasing all the tension and pressure I had put on myself. I would do this without any guilt because I realised that I had

19 years ago, my father passed away. He was my everything. My protector, my advisor, and the director of my life and thoughts. He stopped me from thinking negative thoughts about myself or even others before they festered into something uncontrollable. A lot of people admired him for his values and integrity. One Sunday evening, after spending the entire weekend with us watching cricket, making jokes and eating our favourite fruit, watermelon, he fell ill and had to be taken to the hospital. Two days later, he was gone. Just like that. I came home from school and my mother was on the phone telling someone on the other end of the phone that my world was gone. Disappeared without a trace. The rest of the events that would follow have left a great mark on my life because they were the first signs that my life would never be the same again.  As usual, life went on. I grew up, made mistakes, tried to learn from them and desperately tried to find my father's replacement without success