Pull Her Down!

Firstly, I'd like to apologise for disappearing. I was busy having a baby. LOL - story for another time. But I'd like to thank everyone who was asking about the blog and sending me topics that they'd like me to cover. They are noted and will be well-researched and posted soon. Keep reading... But for now I'd like to tell you a little something about PHD (Pull Her Down) syndrome as I've had a personal experience, even though I couldn't identify it at the time.

So, when I was attending school at the University of Johannesburg, I saw a girl named Pearl at the mall. She was, at the time, a young TV presenter. She was with her friends buying takeaway food, laughing and just enjoying life. I knew her from TV, but something about that moment when I saw her for the very first time in real-life irritated the living lights out of me. In Auckland Park, meeting celebrities is not an event. You met one, well when I was there, around every corner. So, seeing her wasn’t an anomaly for me. But for some reason, I was so very irritated by her presence and how she existed. She seemed self-assured, present in the moment, completely content and at peace. I, later realised and honestly admitted to myself that I was seeing in her what I really yearned for for myself. That self-confidence, the people around her and how she seemed so at peace with spending her money. I, on the other had, had no friends, well anyone I was close to at that time. I just had a fainting episode at the grocery store due to the fact that I walked from Res to the store, plus I only had money for groceries., I couldn’t even afford to buy myself a snack.

This women’s day weekend during the Agenda Women Summit, Nomdeni (the founder) admitted that she muted Nomzamo Mbatha’s page due to the fact that Nomzamo was achieving what she wished she could achieve. That made her resentful and jealous. It reminded me of my encounter with Pearl and many other women that I’ve come across in my life who were thriving while I was struggling to even find out who I really was and what I wanted to do with my life. Her honesty, helped to free me from the pull her down syndrome. Because, even though I can’t really remember if I did or not, there is a possibility that I’ve spoken badly about women who were thriving just to make myself feel better and possibly, impacted their brand, reputation and life negatively. 

I’ve since made a choice take a conscious not of my thoughts when it comes to other women, stop and evaluate my motives, especially when I get the sense to block, unfollow or even speak negatively about another woman. No one else needs to struggle or suffer or even have bad energies because of whatever internal struggles I may be going through. Another important point thing to note is that this feeling of envy, jealousy and ultimately resentment results from comparing each other. How I live my life should not have an impact on how you live you life, unless you decide to let it. Ideally, my life should have a positive impact of motivation and inspiration, especially when you are honest to yourself about how you see and feel about yourself and your accomplishments. Therefore, lots of internal work is needed in order for you to stop the PHD syndrome from continuing and infecting the next generation.

I urge you today, to look at yourself, not with judgement but rather with honest acceptance so as to heal whatever needs healing, in order to avoid the infamous PHD syndrome.

For more information on how to combat PHD syndrome visit :

https://www.all4women.co.za/1111821/leisure/inspiring/suffer-pull-phd-syndrome

Cheers