Dolce far neinte

Recently, I was reminded of the movie, “Eat, Pray, Love” and one of the main things that stand out for me in that movie is the Italian phrase “Dolce far niente”, meaning the sweetness of doing nothing. It may have different meanings to each person but to me it reminds me of when I was in tertiary. I would take one weekend in the month and dedicate it to self-care. That would be a time when I had no to do list or school work to finish. A time when I would do whatever I wanted. On the Saturday, I would spring clean my room, clear out my cupboard, change my bedding and then take a long hot bath. I would also treat myself to a home cooked meal, read a book or just write in my diary. Sundays were for binge watching movies or tv shows and eating all day. This was my way of being kind to myself after working hard the rest of the month. It was my way of calming down and releasing all the tension and pressure I had put on myself. I would do this without any guilt because I realised that I had to be kind to myself so that I can show that kindness to others.

Nowadays, self-care looks very different as mother of two boys on lockdown due to the pandemic, Covid-19. Before the pendamic, I was looking forward, with hesitation, to going back to work and hoping to feel like my old self again. But then the President changed my plans before my maternity leave was over. Being forced by the situation to work from home while looking  after my kids on a full-time basis and home-schooling my older son, didn’t leave me much time to self-care but I’ve recently started trying somethings that help me hold on to some of my old self by caring and loving myself in an evolved way. After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup. How will you offer love to others if you don’t have love for yourself? The Bible says, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ Therefore, make time to love yourself and to be kind to yourself so that you may offer the same grace to others.

These are some ways that you can love yourself and deal with the tensions of your life:

Book time out for yourself

Prioritise taking time out for yourself. A day, an hour, 10 minutes, it doesn’t matter. Schedule time out to do something just for you. During this time, you can pick a quiet and comfortable place in the house where you can meditate by sitting still breathing in and out slowly, while thinking of a piece of scripture that will help encourage and empower you. Trust me, after that session you will move in a different way, ready to handle whatever the day has for you. Some people do this first thing in the morning but knowing that life is unpredictable, choose a time that is suitable for you and your schedule.

Declutter

I’ve written another blog on this - https://epiphaniesoflife2.blogspot.com/2019/07/get-rid-of-clutter.html.

Pick a space in the house that needs to be cleared up. Clearing up space will help you feel like you’ve accomplished something and also, decluttered spaces help you put things into perspective as you physically get rid of things you no longer need or use, freeing up space for things you actually need.

Be kind to yourself

Take self-care days where you take extra care of your body. Run yourself a bath with essential oils, shave if you have to, put on a face mask, some good music and maybe a glass of wine.  Be kind to your body as it has carried you through your entire week. Enjoy yourself while doing all of this. If you take it as a chore, then it defeats the purpose.

You may not be a mother or bombarded by a hectic schedule but if you are also dealing with anxiety and depressions, allowing yourself those off the hook moments, will help you re-energise so that you may be able to face another day. I hope you find your dolce far niente.

 Cheers.