Parenting today

In recent months, I’ve felt a deep sadness and empathy for parents as news unfolded about their children being involved in different situations and events that either injured them or took their lives. I’ve seen pictures and videos posted on social media of children in different situations that are quite insensitive and cruel, especially for a parent to witness. For example, pictures of young children (my guess, between the ages of 6 and 8 years old) lying on the street after the transport that was taking them to school was involved in an accident, with a caption saying that if your child uses transportation to go to school in this area please check on them. Or a video of young man being brutally murdered by a group of teenagers, in that situation I thought of both the perpetrators’ and the victim’s parents. How do you watch your son/daughter kill or get killed? I also felt for the parents of the young South African celebrity that was being abused on camera. Then there are cases that astonish you like the doll that is being used on chats and in cartoons using a child’s voice to assist children in committing suicide, which has already taken the lives of two children in America. And not forgetting the racism and rapes that have now been revealed to be happening at schools. 

All this overwhelms me as a mother, as I am concerned about my children’s safety considering that the places and the people I thought were safe are now being revealed as possible abusers and murderers and places of harm. While the entertainment I grew up on is now being used as weapons against my children. I know that we will adapt, as it is our human nature and we will survive but first, we need to deal with the facts. Our children need to now be taught at a much early age about things that we were taught in our teenage years or figured out on our own. The challenge becomes finding the balance in teaching them to be sure in who they are, while accommodating those who are still figuring themselves out. This is to assist in combating bullying. To have faith and be rooting in it but not to judge others who are of a different faith, sexual orientation, background, race or social standard., even thought they many not be afforded the same courtesy. To teach them the difference between self-love and selfishness. To teach them to be good citizens of this country, while knowing that there are those who will not do the same.

This is a very difficult process for a person who was raised in an era where you didn’t ask questions but just did as you were told, a person who was taught that voicing their opinion is disrespectful and who was disciplined sterner than the kids today. And because of that type of upbringing and that channeled way of thinking, it becomes quite difficult to adjust and find a balance between giving your kids room to express themselves, ask questions and form an opinion of their own with your guidance, and letting them roam the streets looking for an identity, any place where they will feel like they belong. I am still learning to find a balance and sometimes, I am wrong and you will hear it in what they say. But the moment I hear the misunderstanding I sit them down correct them to the best of my ability. 

Communication is a very important tool to have. Allow your children time to sit with you and openly speak about their concerns and experiences that may have left them confused or even about things that they like and don’t like. From that you will know the right time to start speaking on more complex topics and teach them on how to handle new age situations.

What’s your take? I’d like to hear from you, as a parent, what your experiences have been in helping to build a responsible and safe human being.

Cheers.