Overcomer

During this time of time of the year, many of us are dealing with back to work and back to school stresses and we spend a lot of money that we probably should have saved during the festive season to prepare for the year ahead. This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety, and ultimately depression. I was diagnosed with anxiety after I fainted at home during my matric year and with depression about 6 years later. In the years following the diagnosis I went through symptoms similar to those of grief. I was in denial, thinking that the doctors were wrong, I was just tired and it would go away, just like a cold but the symptoms have reoccurred multiple times in the last few years, and I could not deny it anymore. I’ve also been very angry with everyone, mostly God and myself, for even being diagnosed in the first place. In search of a cause I’ve taken out my anger on my family and blamed them for what I was going through. Ultimately, I came to terms with the fact that I do struggle with depression and that not wanting to get out of bed in the morning and pushing away everyone who cares about me only to turn around and cry that no one cares, is not normal. After acceptance came the light that helped me take accountability and control of my life and thoughts. I stepped back and took an honest look at my life. I started taking a look at what made me feel good about myself and figured out what helped me get out of bed and pursuit my passions and that was my faith, fitness and fun.

My Faith

I had to believe that there was more to my life than rotting away in self-pity, guilt and condemnation. I had to remind myself of God what says in His word, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you…” That brought me back to the realisation that God knew that I would go through these challenges and He knows my way out. So, I served in my local church and learned about speaking the word of God back to Him. In doing so, I found that I not only create with my words but I start to teach my mind to align with the word of God. Also, I met a lot of people within the church who were willing to share their stories of how they overcame their obstacles, and knowing that I was not alone and that others have made it through worse, gave me the strength to stand again in my full truth and use it to help others.

Image: www.bible.com

My Fitness

The epiphany I had on my fitness came after years of not exercising, looking at myself in the mirror and being absolutely unhappy with who I had become. The first time I remember that happening was when I was in tertiary. I took a decision then to start working out on my own at least 4 times a week. I did and by the end of the year I looked and felt great. Then, I left school and I went back to my bad habits, because, in all honesty, I was not really eating healthy, I was just exercising. But as you get older your body does not react the same as it did in the past. The latest “aha moment” came late last year, I had the same exact feeling again but this time I wanted things to be different and so I came up with the strategy of starting small and lasting long. So, I will only run 2.5kms, 3 times a week and that way I am less likely to quit anytime soon. This way I allow this to become more of a lifestyle rather than just a temporary habit. I am still in the process of perfecting my healthy lifestyle routine. But working out helps me put things into perspective and gives me the confidence to go after what I really want rather than compromising.

My Fun

Finally, I decided to have fun in the present time with my friends and family, regardless of what needed to be done or what limitations I had. I started with opening up my friend circle and allowing more people into my private space in terms of thoughts. In that way, I attracted people who were positive about life and who were willing to hear me out and also help me out, in terms of my faith and fitness. I also became honest with my family about who I really am and what I like and don’t like. I was also honest about how their actions and words, during the years, have affected me and I found out that they were very understanding, open and supportive. They showed me their point of view on things and we came  to an agreement of how we will handle difficult situations in the future.

I hope this helps you deal with the difficult situations that you are facing right now and the ones that you may face during the duration of the year. Remember, no matter what struggle or challenge you may be facing, the solution is within you. You are well-equipped to handle whatever the world throws at you. Just step back, evaluate the situation and your mind will conceive the solution.

Please share your success stories on how you overcame or are dealing with depression.

Cheers.