Freedom of Forgiveness

I’m having such a hard time writing this. This is my third try. Recently, I received a book submission for editing and proofreading on forgiveness and it started my chain of thinking. Just to clarify, I am also an editor and proof reader with my company called Immaculate Media. Anyway, I started to think about my journey with forgiveness. How unforgiveness held me in a prison for so long that I couldn’t find my voice or who I was anymore. I was angry at everyone. If you were part of my life at some point, I probably was or maybe even still am angry at you. I used to write down my feelings and destroy the paper to deal with forgiving people who didn’t even ask for forgiveness, but for a long time, I was also very angry with God. Imagine that! How dare I get angry with the Creator of the universe, the awesome, omnipotent God. But sometimes, you can’t help it. I thought, “How can He not save me from this or deliver me from that? He knew the pain that this would cause?” Until one day, a former pastor of mine preached in church and said, “Sometimes you don’t even realise it, but you are angry at God. Take this time tp forgive Him.” I felt something within me break. It was like a stronghold, that I didn’t even know existed, was not only exposed but destroyed. I closed my eyes and surrendered to that feeling and, in that moment, I saw God with His arms wide open, ready to receive me. A lot of things started to unravel. I began to see a pattern of unforgiveness in my life, starting with myself, followed by my family and lastly, my friends. There are still people I need to release in my heart from unforgiveness but like everything in life, it is a process.

 

I speak a lot about letting things go because I am a great believer in releasing the little to receive a lot more. The Bible in Isaiah 61 says, “to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” This tells me that God knew the hardships that we’d go through and He wants us to release all of the negatives so that He can provide and restore the positives. When dealing with depression and anxiety, you often hear a voice in you that reminds you constantly, often in torment, of what you did wrong or what others did wrongly towards you. It even escalates to how the God of creation, the One who died on the cross for your salvation has done you wrong. This is one of the many contributions that leads towards the imprisonment that the enemy of your soul wants to keep you in. For me, forgiveness played a huge part in my journey towards healing and restoration. It helped me walk towards the courage I have now to honestly share my life with you. I have apologised to people I don’t think, to this day, deserved my apology. I’ve written letters to people I’ve forgiven and destroyed them, who didn’t even ask for my forgiveness. I’ve repented and asked God for forgiveness for all the times I’ve limited my access to Him because I blamed Him for things He brought me through and I recognised that they were all for my greater good.

I open up my life like this to offer light to whatever situation you may be going through to say look at it through a lens of forgiveness, whether to God, yourself or others and see if it doesn’t allow you some sense of relief from the load you are carrying. Write down your pain and destroy that paper, as a way of releasing what’s been holding you back. Speak to those who have hurt you the most as they may not even realise that they were hurting you as they are hurting within themselves. Turn to God and ask for forgiveness for the decisions that you’ve allowed the prison of unforgiveness to dictate to you. See how releasing it all and allowing people and God back into your life makes you feel. Of course, I’m not speaking of about letting toxic people who will send you back to that imprisonment back into your life but allowing new people with compassion into your life to help you walk this new journey of freedom.

Cheers.