Epiphanies Of Life

Most of us started this year on a very high note with great expectations and big plans, but those were halted due to the pandemic. However, we didn't let that get us down. Now, with the looming threat of a second wave, we are encouraged to be more aware, careful and cautious as we go into the festive season. I guess this year's festive season will be a little bit different.  Normally, during this time of year, a lot of people experience anxiety, I did too in the past but  this year, I started my own gratitude challenge to help me deal with that, by reminding myself of God's promises and blessings over my life every day for the last 65 days of 2020. It has really helped me deal with some difficult situations from a place of victory and gratitude rather then helplessness and panic. I specify what I am grateful for and accompany it with scripture, which helps in making time to read the Word of God daily. That is very important in empowering yourself with positivity and encoura

As a new mom, you’ve probably been through the most traumatic event of your life as birthing can be quite daunting, especially if everything goes against your birthing plan and everything you’re researched and prepared for. So, to help all the moms-to-be and new moms out there I spoke to 3 mom friends of mine who have recently had new-born babies, all of them were second born babies and they were gracious enough to take time away from their bundles of joy to answer the following questions: 1. What do you wish you knew about having a second baby? - Mom 1 I've been trying to think about what I didn't know prior to falling pregnant. But, I think I knew that life was going to change drastically. Especially, because I was planning to stay with my second baby. My first baby stays with his grandmother and that gave me the freedom to do everything and anything I wanted. I also knew that chances of me being sick during pregnancy were high, because with my first one, I had pre-eclampsia.

Until recently, I haven’t really paid attention to my finances. I’ve always lived with the belief that one day my big financial break would come along, and I would be set for life. Like a lottery win or that one big business deal that just changes your life for the better. But then, I got a big reality check. A reminder that financial freedom is not a destination but a journey. One that many of us think will sort itself out, but it doesn’t work like that. You have to take accountability and responsibility for your finances from the minute you start earning an income. My mom has now been on pension for almost 10 years and she worked for over 35 years in order to be able to afford to support herself now. My big break may come but even if it doesn’t, I want to be prepared and ready for my old age so that, like my mom, I don’t burden my kids with black tax and financial demands when they should be setting themselves up for their future. I watched a video on Youtube where Nicollette Mashi

We tend to waste time waiting for the perfect time before we do something and by the time we wake up, so much time has passed and we still haven't experienced the right time to achieve or go for what we really want. We have basically been existing for a moment that may never come. At the beginning of this year Covid hit our shores (South Africa) and we went into lockdown. A lot of people thought it would be just for a while and we would be able to get back to normal. We are now on Level 1 of lockdown and it doesn't seem like things will change or go back to normal  anytime soon . A few of us, myself included, found ourselves waiting for the time when we can go out again and have fun but weeks of lockdown turned into months and soon reality hit home that we are in this Covid fight for the long haul. So, eventually, the realisation came that we need to make the best of the time we have together with our families. That's when a lot of people started making videos and posting t

A few years ago, I was at work minding my own business when a colleague of mine once more asked me to proofread an important email that he was sending to management. His comment was something like, I know you will use your higher-grade English. And I did. I went to his desk, for the millionth time that week to assist not realising that another colleague, now friend and business partner, was watching. She called me to her desk and said that she was working on a book and wasn’t satisfied with the work that her editor had done. I was shocked as I had never thought of myself taking on a huge task as helping someone send out their message to the world. I, reluctantly, agreed to take a look at the book. The next day, I sent her the first chapter with a lot of highlights, comments and additional notes in the email. LOL. Instead of being irritated as I imagined she would be, she actually loved my work and recommended another author that I could work with the following month. The compliments on

I've been waiting for the right time to post about this and today seems like a good day. A few months back, I was asked to feature on a Facebook group, Wife of Purpose which was founded by two wonderful women called Phuti Lebea and Makoma Nothana. Wife of Purpose is aimed at equipping wives to be better homemakers, better wives for their husbands and to ultimately be able to exercise all their roles fully. They fulfil this by hosting seminars, workshops, whereby speakers engage with the wives. They also ask wives, ex-wives and soon to be wives to engage in conversations that will help improve the quality of their marriages, while running the foundation side of the group, where they collect clothes and other items to give to the less fortunate. Every week a topic that pertains to the well-being of marriage and the individual is shared on their WhatsApp group and opened for discussion. There's a lot of support and knowledge that is shared by the women in that group. I was appr

Today is my son’s 8 th birthday and I just recently started being okay with talking about his birth and my pregnancy with him. It was the most trying time of my life. I lost 15kgs in the first 3 months of my pregnancy and on the day of his birth, my doctor didn’t show up while the doctor on call didn’t even speak a single word to me. I, then, had to undergo an emergency C-section only to realise breathing when he was born. All of that had me traumatised for years and I only found out recently that it’s called postnatal post-traumatic stress disorder (postnatal PTSD) and that it takes quite a while to heal, hence I didn’t decide to have another child until 5 years later. It is a type of anxiety disorder that is also known birth trauma. It is basically caused by any trauma that you experience through birthing but should not be confused with post-natal depression (PND), even though PDN does contribute to the trauma. A lot of people suffer from such disorders after giving birth and unknow

I posed a question to some of my frequent readers asking them to let me know what they would love to read more about on the blog and one of the questions that were submitted was on excelling in IT as a woman. Being in IT myself and struggling with finding growth, I took the challenge to find willing participants who would help me answer this question in realistic and practical ways and so, I approached one of my bosses. Her name is  Anthenia Phuku and she is an  IT Executive at Liquid Telecom, South Africa. She started her career as an Oracle Database Administrator in 1998 and has since grown her career, making strides of success ever since. Here are some of her views on growing your career in IT, especially when you are a woman. What drew you to IT? What got you interested in pursuing a career in technology? I wanted something that honored my dynamic personality, where change was the order of the day. IT incorporates constant positive change and innovation.  What expectations did you

It’s the day before the last day of the month and it feels like we were celebrating a cold first day of spring just yesterday. Sometimes, that’s what it feels like when you lose someone you loved. It feels like they were just here, healthy and strong and the next minute they are gone and that can leave wounds that can be very hard to heal or that may never really heal. A loss of life can bring many questions and your last conversation with the deceased will become significant as you try to figure things out. I recently lost someone who was becoming a good friend. Looking back, our last conversation, was quite significant to both our lives. I thought it was the beginning of something amazing, but God knew it was the healing and closure needed for the end. Experiencing this loss felt quite strange to me as I had never had such an encounter. But,  I finally, understood how some families might be feeling because of Covid. One day, their families or friends are fine and in a matter of days

Earlier this year, I read the book of Judges in the Bible and realised that for generations, the children of Israel would obey the Lord, depending on who their ruler  was. The one generation would erect a monument or place of worship for the Lord and obey Him, and the next generation would, almost always for 40 years, go rogue by tearing down the tabernacle of the Lord and adopting whatever belief, culture and/or tradition that the people of the land in which they dwelt were praticising. God would get angry, step back from them and send them an enemy that would remind them to trust in the Lord again. Only then would they turn back to God and He would elect a leader to rescue them through Him and bring them back closer to Him. This is the legacy of the children of Israel in the book of Judges. Knowing their history of slavery and dominance, it's not so hard to understand why they needed to always be lead and directed towards God. They were oppressed for over 400 years and were told

Yesterday, my friends and I hosted one of our good friend's birthday at a prominent restaurant to celebrate her life and show her some love. It was an awesome time. But, during our celebration a man came over and did something we found very strange and very intrusive, especially during this time of Covid. We all told him off and he was very nonchalant about. Whereas, we were very uncomfortable and quite frankly pissed off by his actions. Mind you, this is the first time in a year that I've been out with my friends, away from mommy hood and wife hood. So, I was anxiously looking forward to it but that's a story for another post. After reading all about GBV and some of the seemingly random rapes and killings of women, I started taking account of my surroundings. I realised that it was closing time, most of the restaurant staff had left and most of the customers were men. Naturally, there were some who hit on my friends and some who just stared from a distance. True to our nat